Reading, Writing, and Wigging
by Moey
Summary: A Wizarding Parents’ Guide to Billywig Abuse in Children: A Free Publication brought to you by Wizards and Witches for a Drug Free Britain


_A/N: Billywigs, Fizzing Whizbees, and the wizarding world belong to the fabulous JK Rowling. _

_This is dedicated to Molly Weasley. I'm certain she had a copy of this handy at all times when her children were growing up - namely Charlie._

**A Harry Potter Satire **

**by Moey**

****

**READING, WRITING, AND WIGGING**  
A Wizarding Parents' Guide to Billywig Abuse in Children  
A Free Publication brought to you by Wizards and Witches for a Drug Free Britain  


**Billywig Usage **

Since the countercultural revolution that took place in the early 1970's, coupled with the nation's infatuation with all things Australian in the 1980's, Billywig abuse has been on the rise in Wizarding society. Billywig use is up 45 percent among young people between the ages of 11 and 17. Even more alarming is the rise in Billywig use among young witches between the ages of 12 and 15.   
For this group, Billywig use has risen 75 percent since 1985, with almost four out of every five witches between the ages of 12 and 15 having reported using Billywigs.

**Billywig Description and History **

Billywigs are insects native to Australia whose sting causes giddiness and levitation in the user. (For more information on the Billywig's appearance and habitat, see Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander, Obscurus Books) Australian witches and wizards first learned of the Billywig's magical properties from the Aboriginal peoples, who, as of today, still use them in ancient tribal ceremonies and rituals. The Aborigines also claim that Billywigs are effective in cures against kidney stones and headaches, and they have been known to use them in remedies for these and other ailments. However, the medicinal value of the Billywig has never been proven, and it is assumed among leading wizard-medical researchers that the only benefit derived is that of extreme muscle relaxation, which, in turn leads to some pain relief.  


**Terminology to become familiar with regarding Billywig usage: **

  * Billywig usage is often referred to as _**stinging**_ or _**wigging**_. 
  * When a user refers to being _**stung**_, they are referring to the physical and mental state they enter after using.
  * Someone that is _**all stung up**_ is said to be feeling the full effects of a sting.
  * Slang terms for Billywigs include: _**bills**_, _**bw's**_, _**stings**_, and _**wigs**_. 

**Myths surrounding Billywigs and their use: **

**Myth:** Billywig use is safe. 

**Fact:** Billywig use can in fact be extremely dangerous. Users that overdose on Billywig stings will hover uncontrollably for days or even weeks. Victims that have had a severe allergic reaction to Billywig stings are left floating permanently as well as suffering from sporadic, yet often violent, giggle fits.   


**Myth:** Long-term use of Billywigs is not harmful. 

**Fact: **To this day, the physical and mental effects of long-term Billywig usage are unknown. Wizard-medical studies are inconclusive on the subject. However, there are many studies that do conclude that long-term users suffer irreparable memory loss and are more likely to wear outlandish tie-dyed robes.   


**Myth:** Dried Billywig stings are the key ingredient in Fizzing Whizbees®. 

**Fact:** Although at one time during the early 19th century Billywig stings were used in the invention and production of the popular sweet Fizzing Whizbees®, they have not been used as an ingredient since the early 1900's.  


**Signs that your child may be abusing Billywigs: **

  * Constant levitation and/or floating. 
  * Extreme cheerfulness and the apparent lack of any teen angst. 
  * Bloodshot eyes and increased appetite especially when coupled with cheerfulness and levitation.

If you notice one or more of these signs in your child they could be abusing Billywigs. Remember that you are the most important factor in whether or not your child will abuse drugs. Talk to your kids, they will listen. 

For more information or additional pamphlets and resources, please contact Wizards and Witches for a Drug Free Britain. 


End file.
